It has been exactly one week since my grandma’s passing. Home is getting quiet without her presence I have to admit. Especially without the TV sound that used to accompany my late grandma in the living room. The first thing when any of us got home, we will check on her but right now? All we could do is just staring into the blank space (towards the direction that she used to sit).. with no presence of my grandma there anymore.
Aunty Molly (my late grandma) is no stranger to the neighbourhood that I am living in. She is always described and known as the grandma with cool hair style & frequent change of hair colour (she can’t stand having grey hair), who loves to dress up and pretty much quite protective towards her grandchildren (mostly yours truly). She also makes constant appearances at my school during my younger days, thus that is how my friends recognizes her as my grandma.
I dare say, she is not your typical grandma and I am pretty lucky she isn’t. She approves my inappropriate (just slightly low cut) outfits whereas my mum would mumbles about it, She would let me dye and do my hair since 15 years old during school holidays, She would give us money to buy McDonalds whenever my sister and I complains that we are bored with home-cooked food, She would want to have the same outfit as I am wearing if she likes it, And she would also take neoprint (sticker photos) with us.
Besides being a grandma now, she is also a mother to 3 kids and great grandmother to 2 little ones. My grandpa passed away when my dad was just 15 years old, thus there is where my grandma took on his role to work and earn to feed the family. I seriously couldn’t imagine how and what I would do if I was in her shoes – losing my husband so soon. Yet, grandma pulled through and did all she could to make sure the family is well fed.
Aside from acknowledging what my grandma has done for the family throughout the years, I would also like to express my gratitude to everyone’s kind words, as well as those who made an effort to come to my grandma’s wake to pay your last respects.
To my relatives,
Thank you all for being there to support and assist my family and I throughout the wake and funeral. Especially my grandaunt Mary (grandma’s younger sister) who has been there mentally and physically, who even stayed back to help out after the funeral was all over and done with. Not forgetting, my cousins and relatives from my mum’s side of the family, I appreciate all of your presence and effort to come down all the way to KLANG to pay your last respect to my late grandma. I am indeed pleased that the union between my dad and mum’s side of the family is well-kept this way.
To my extended family members,
Eventhough we probably only meet a few years once during festivals or weddings, I appreciate all of your presence during the wake and to make an effort to come during the funeral day as well.
To my primary/high school mates/childhood buddies and friends,
I sincerely would like to thank you all for taking the time out of your busy schedule and coming over to the wake after work to pay your last respect to my grandma, especially a few of my mates that I have not met in years after I left school (you know who you are). It means a lot to have all of your support at such low point of my life.
To my neighbours/neighbourhood,
I’m sorry that we didn’t manage to notify all of you but thank you for making an effort to come when you find out. That includes the aunties from the saloon that my grandma frequently goes to, the uncle from the Bah Kut Teh shop that my grandma always tapao from, the Nyonya kueh aunty, the doctors (Dr Jaspal & Dr Quay) that my grandma goes to, etc.
Also on behalf of my dad, I would like to extend my appreciation to his buddies, childhood friends, ex-staffs and acquaintances for attending my late grandma’s wake.
I understand how people comforted us and said that my grandma went in peace; that passing away in her slumber is the least painful kind of death that people desire – “to go in their sleep”. Like how she is in a better place now reunited with my grandpa, etc. True that. I believe she is! Yet nobody tells me on how to cope with losing someone that is close to me and lived together with for 24 years. This is the kind of hard reality that I will need to go through in life, and that is to accept and acknowledge that my ONLY grandma has passed on.
How long will it take to completely be fine? 1 month? 2 months? 3 months? 1 year? I don’t know. But I am sure sporadically I will think about the things my grandma and I have done together. How she would spoil me constantly by trying to provide me with anything and everything that I request for.
During my trip back to Melbourne 2 months ago, I clearly remember the conversation that I had with my cousin KK over dinner, about how and will we ever miss someone that once means so much to us? Do we tend to forget everything and move on at some stage in life?
He enlightened me and told me that,
” It’s not about how long the joy and happiness last, but what matters is how you remember them and keep the best moment you once shared together in your memory. “
True enough. Very well said, indeed. The amount of memories that I have with my late grandma will forever be stored in my mind and heart. You will definitely be missed dearly by us all, mama.