Time sure flies I have to say, there is just so much to do yet so little time. Just another 4 more days to the beginning of a new year. This year (2011) has been the TOUGHEST for me so far in my 21 years of life. What happened has really made me realize that this world can be nice & cruel at the same time. But when its cruel to you, always remember that this is what that makes you stronger.
To be honest, I am pretty proud of where I stand right now even after what had happened. I guess its true when they say it will all get better in time. Things changes. But I reckon things always changes for good & never for bad. For example, in JUST ONE YEAR I had my hair coloured 4 times (typically me). From copper brown – red – black – blonde highlights.
I’ve always been a hair colour fanatic and it has been such a while since I had black hair. Probably the last time I had was say… back in 2007? Reasons for having black hair when I am in Australia is because mum reckons hairdo here is expensive. Which is true, and that is why I have been really patient with my black hair for a couple of months, until it reaches my boiling point that I decided to get some highlights. Now I definitely feel like myself once more, the good old me ♥
Sometimes looking into the past really brings smile to my face. The kind of memories that was once the reason of who I am today, regardless good or bad, is definitely there to guide me of every steps that I’m about to take in the coming days. One, which has totally changed my perspectives and left an impact in my life, was dating him, the malay-chinese dude which I never thought I would ever get together with.
I have never officially disclose this relationship to the public before but yeah, I choose to share this time because I want people to realize, race should not be an issue that stops two person to get to know each other better. Well, I used to be that kind of girl that could easily mix around different races of friends, but to date one, was never an option or idea to me. NEVER, I repeat. Its not that I am racist but let’s just put it this way, I just couldn’t be bothered. But everything changed the day I met him, lets just refer him as M shall we?
M is a close friend’s friend and we knew each other through just a random conversation. I was asking my friends some random opinions about piercing and this is where he chirped in. I was like, okay.. how random. So since then, we both talked non-stop about more random stuffs. It was really cute that moment as both of us were just plain speaking english. As he wasn’t sure if I do speak malay or not so yeah, it was english all the way. Then through spending so much time, I found out he comes from a parentage of chinese dad & malay mum. I find this interesting enough and what surprise me more, is he speaks cantonese & mandarin as well. Despite the fact that I speak pretty well malay, we mix around with our languages a lot. This is where we have stepped into the comfort zone.
What do I mean by comfort zone? It’s a zone where I could be myself whenever I am with him. People always have the perception.. how do we even get along so well when he is a typical malay & I am a typical chinese? Well, thankfully the both of us are not of the typical kind. We do know a lot of each other’s culture and lingua franca. So yeah, whenever I am with him, I always forget the fact that he is a malay speaking dude, because I take him as himself, a person that I could casually have conversation and feel comfortably with. The same goes to him so the communication part wasn’t a barrier for us at all.
We got together and he never fails to make me the happiest girl alive everyday. I adore the way he can be caring, casual and straight to the point at the same time. As in, he is not those typical mushy guys who goes “I love you” & “you are the best” every minute. When he feels thing is not right, he would tell me and this is the kind of honesty that every man should have. Not by telling your girlfriend her dress is pretty even if you think its not, like dude seriously -________-
As you can see, I am pretty unreasonable back then and I do admit, I was one. Because whenever he doesn’t pick up my calls or reply my texts in a time duration, I’ll get really mad. Since M is studying in LimKokWing at Cyberjaya & I was in Taylor’s in PJ, we are both rather far apart. So most of the time, the cellphone do the talking that keeps us company. And worse still, his family lives in Shanghai so he goes back really often to visit them. Including the fact that he loves travelling so he spent most of his time abroad. Thus, at this point – it was Skype and e-mails that do the talking most of the time. It was pretty frustrating to be away from each other at that point. We were away from each other during Christmas, New Year Eve with almost 2 months altogether.
This distance apart thingy made us argue alot, like I am not even joking when I say A LOT. For the littlest things from him falling asleep while waiting for me to go online or something he said, I take everything to offend and I’ll be so frustrated because he is no where nearby. All I could do is scream into my pillow to chill myself out.
Like whenever I get mad at him, of course he gets mad as well. But no matter how mad he is with me, he still take the initiative to talk things out with me nicely. So yes, here it goes again. I am happily fed with his pampering whenever we argue, and it always works because I couldn’t stand being angry with him for long too. Also I have to admit, arguing is such a tiring activity.
After close to 2 months he is away, finally he is back to Malaysia. But with another new hobby of his that I didn’t much fancy about. He got into a new addiction of riding fixies and he does that every night, from 12am onwards. Look. I am completely fine with him having a new hobby, I mean you can never stop a guy from liking something such as cars, Manchester United and etc. But one thing about this new hobby is its pretty dangerous. Riding fixies late at night on the street is one, and kept falling from the bike is one. I was worried whenever he goes on a riding session but what more can I say?
We constantly argue whenever he mention about going for a riding session. Yes, so the argument never did ended.. yet it continues from him being abroad at first and now, his new hobby. So yeah, it finally came to the day when we goes our own way. No more talking, no more seeing and no more knowing about each other since then. Funny how we could be so clingy in the beginning and then now, we are total strangers. Good thing was, we don’t live near each other nor do we study close to each other.
My point of writing this is not to rant about my previous crappy relationship, but because I am trying to prove that its not because of the race issue that we couldn’t be together. Like I mentioned, it was because of his interests and distance that cause our arguments in the first place. I despise the fact that whenever I tell people, I have broken up with him, Most people would tell me,
” Its okay, you didn’t lose anything. He is still a malay and you both won’t go anywhere anyway. “
What’s with him being a malay? Just because in Malaysia, we have to convert into Muslim if we were to marry one. I don’t think its a big deal if you really could live comfortably with that particular person. Religion, on the other hand is just a guidance to life and I believe that every religion teaches the same thing. It is really, very much up to us to interpret and practice it into our daily’s. I have to admit I was upset when things was over between us, but yeah. It wasn’t hatred that I had for him but instead it was all good old memories to learn from ♥
Never regret anything, as once it was what you wanted.