Flashback to the Past

Lighting don’t Strike the same place TWICE

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I couldn’t have prepared myself for this fall,
Shattered in pieces, curled on the floor.
Super natural love conquers all,
Remember we used to touch the sky?

And lightning don’t strike the same place twice.
When you and I said goodbye I felt the angels cry,
True love’s a gift but we let it drift in a storm,
Every night I feel the angels cry.

Come on, baby. Can’t our love be revived?
Bring it back and we gonna make it right.
I’m on the edge, just tryin’ to survive,
As the angels cry.

“Angels Cry, Mariah Carey ft Neyo”

The past and the PRESENT

 

       Today is the first day of February and exactly one more week to Chinese New Year.
Extremely excited. It’s like the time of the year that I always look forward to.
The food, the people, and well you know…
those little red packets – angpows.

Would really love to do a summary of my TWENTY TWELVE,
like how others have done.To be frank, it was one of those awesome years I had.
I have achieved a couple of things in life last year and was proud I pulled myself through all ups & downs. Little did I expect myself to reach this stage of adulthood so soon. It seems like just yesterday I left high school getting all excited to attend college.


January

Spent my entire summer feeling.. ROASTED..
It was awfully hot that I literally died a little inside every day until when it hits 40 degree celcius.
So all I do most of the time is mall-hopping with Marcus around in the CBD.
To chill because there is free air-conditioner and to do a little shopping.
SALES EVERYWHERE = irresistible.

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Went to Brunei for the first time as I was  flying Royal Brunei Airlines from Melbourne to Malaysia.
Toured the whole Brunei in less than 2 hours time, yeah. Imagine the size of the country?

2012_04

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Went back to Malaysia  for Chinese New Year after a whole year of being away from home.
Best feeling ever I have to say. Being home and back to my own comfort zone.
365 days is WAY TOO LONG I TELL YOU!

2012_02

Cooked lunch for Chinese New Year for the first time.
Usually it is grandma’s job to do so, but as her age is catching up..
Me and cousin decided to give it a shot and we made it. PROUD BITCHES MAN.

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February

Flew back to Melbourne after two good weeks in Malaysia.
Booked my last minute flight to join the cousin and her boyfriend at Taiwan on Valentine’s Day.
Shopping and food is so good there I was so reluctant to leave.
Although I couldn’t converse well in mandarin but the people there are helpful and nice.
I remember a girl chased me from behind at the train station,
just to tell me that my boot’s laces came off.  How cute!
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Got back to Melbourne after spending 5 awesome days in Taipei.
Did plenty of cooking with the housemates, a bunch of awesome people.
Despite all of us coming from different places ( China, Thailand, Malaysia and Korea ),
we get along really well and they took really good care of me.
Probably because I was the youngest but yeah, I don’t mind being looked after.
They are like elder brothers and sisters to me. SUCH BLESSING! ♥

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March

Got back to Malaysia, again.
Spent quality time with my family and friends.
Ever since I left to abroad for studies,
I learned on how to appreciate my parent’s effort on bringing me up and providing me with the best.
Therefore, I am trying my best to provide them with what I can as well in return.
If I have to work my ass off to provide them with the best.. I will do so.
It’s about time I take over the responsibility to look after the family.

My doggy of 13 years, Fluffy passed away.
At least I get to spend a little time with him before he died ='(
Remembering you always, Fluffy dearest.
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April – May

Flew back to Melbourne, again. But this time around with the parents on separate flights for my graduation.
And yes, finally I have graduated!
That moment that I didn’t want this chapter of my life to end so quickly but it did,
and I am officially a university graduate and a degree holder.
Happy to have my FamilyBear and friends with me that very special day.

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Travelled to Sydney and Gold Coast for the 2nd time with my parents and lil’ sista.
They hated Sydney(except for the Fish Market) and loved Gold Coast.

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June – August

  Came back to Malaysia, for good this time.
Started my job as a Digital Media Specialist,
and had a post-graduation dinner & party with the peeps.

2012_172012_18Celebrated my birthday with the peeps after missing out on spending my 21st with them around.

2012_19

Went to Penang after not returning for a year long.
Yeah, I usually head over to Penang like twice or three times a year..
and I didn’t manage to do so because I was all year out and abroad in 2011.
Hello my favourite Char Koay Teow and Otak-Otak. SLURPS!

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2012_21

Adopted a puppy. Named her Girl Girl because I am just not creative like that.
She is such an adorable little thing but extremely hyperactive on the other hand.
My first female puppy by the way.

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GANGNAM STYLE came into my life…
and it’s still stuck in my head up till today.
2012_23September – October

Impromptu plan to go for Laser Tag with the peeps.
My first time and it was da’ bomb!

Had our short getaway at Sekeping, Serendah away from the busy city.
A trip very much needed as we were all pretty much busy with our work respectively,
So we reckon this is the best time for us to bond and catch up with our life.
Spent a night out with nature as well as no phone signal or reception.

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November – December

Went to Universal Studio Singapore even though I’d swear not to travel anymore after AUS.
Oh and I had ‘zui kueh’ after so long. Total food-gasm!

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Attended Astro Wah Lai Toi Awards 2012 courtesy of Myolie Wu’s fan club.
Saw Kenneth Ma for the first time after seeing him countless time from my TV box.
He bagged the Best Actor Award and I cheered even louder.

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Left my job as a Digital Media Specialist and joined another digital agency as an Account Executive.
Though it’s a little more hectic and tiring as compared to the previous one,
This job is rockin’ my socks so far!

One month has passed and January has been a month filled with happiness.
My childhood best buddy got married, my closest cousin got engaged,
and a couple of people that’s close to my heart is expecting a child as well.
Words really couldn’t express how happy I am for them.

It’s just funny how I get excited over things like this so easily.
I wonder why.. I really do.

xx

Time waits for no one, LIFE GOES ON.


1999 – 6th April 2012

My doggy of 13 years (which I had him since I was 9 years old) is no longer with us anymore.
Yes, I am sad.  I cried almost the whole afternoon thinking about how he is no longer there.
When I walk to the kitchen, I see his can foods and tidbits left behind,
When I walk to his cage, I see he is no longer laying down near it and being the busy-doggy he is,
And worse of all, I wouldn’t be able to hear him bark anymore.


People tell me it might be a good thing actually that he is gone, though.
For a dog to be able to live up to 13 years is basically a bonus.
Because usually dogs has a lifespan of 10-12 years and Fluffy managed to stay until the 13th year.
So yes, I am slowly accepting the fact that he is old and its time to let him go.

To be honest, the feeling of FOREVER losing someone that you care of  is actually horrible!
The tears just roll down your eyes automatically and the heartache is unbearable.
Its like no matter how much I hit my chest, it doesn’t ease the pain.
And I reckon this is the scariest kind of pain in the world that no one could handle.
Even the strongest man in the world would break down and cry at one point, isn’t it?

For those who tell me that I am being too emotional just for a dog,
Seriously people, you can go… FUCK YOURSELF.
Or go pick up a knife and stab your pet but make sure you don’t fucking cry.
People who tells me I am being too emotional are seriously some heartless ass.
Like hello, a dog is still a living thing. Moreover I have been with my doggy for 13 years.
What do you think my heart is made of? Rock?
I mean naturally, the feelings will come and its 13 years I am repeating myself!

Growing up and dealing with such thing as losing someone you care dearly seriously sucks.
And I have to say, I am not mentally prepared for this yet.
Not that I am avoiding reality but yeah, just not very prepared for such circumstances.
At times, I really do wish I could just turn back time to those days when I am in high school.

High school years was the best time of my life.

I was a student, had fun with my friends, get involved in almost everything and anything.
Plus no worries about money, life and etc.
Well. You know what I am saying, I am pretty sure you people do.

On a side note, it has been 5 good years since I left high school.
And now I am officially leaving university as well.
Different aims and goals to be achieve in a new phase in life.
How to not accept the fact that I am getting old?
Life goes on, for definitely. Life goes on..

xx

Back to the PAST when race is never an ISSUE

 

Time sure flies I have to say, there is just so much to do yet so little time. Just another 4 more days to the beginning of a new year. This year (2011) has been the TOUGHEST for me so far in my 21 years of life. What happened has really made me realize that this world can be nice & cruel at the same time. But when its cruel to you, always remember that this is what that makes you stronger.

To be honest, I am pretty proud of where I stand right now even after what had happened. I guess its true when they say it will all get better in time. Things changes. But I reckon things always changes for good & never for bad. For example, in JUST ONE YEAR I had my hair coloured 4 times (typically me). From copper brown – red – black – blonde highlights.

I’ve always been a hair colour fanatic and it has been such a while since I had black hair. Probably the last time I had was say…  back in 2007? Reasons for having black hair when I am in Australia is because mum reckons hairdo here is expensive. Which is true, and that is why I have been really patient with my black hair for a couple of months, until it reaches my boiling point that I decided to get some highlights. Now I definitely feel like myself once more, the good old me ♥

Sometimes looking into the past really brings smile to my face. The kind of memories that was once the reason of who I am today, regardless good or bad, is definitely there to guide me of every steps that I’m about to take in the coming days. One, which has totally changed my perspectives and left an impact in my life, was dating him, the malay-chinese dude which I never thought I would ever get together with.

I have never officially disclose this relationship to the public before but yeah, I choose to share this time because I want people to realize, race should not be an issue that stops two person to get to know each other better. Well, I used to be that kind of girl that could easily mix around different races of friends, but to date one, was never an option or idea to me. NEVER, I repeat. Its not that I am racist but let’s just put it this way, I just couldn’t be bothered. But everything changed the day I met him, lets just refer him as M shall we?

M is a close friend’s friend and we knew each other through just a random conversation. I was asking my friends some random opinions about piercing and this is where he chirped in. I was like, okay.. how random. So since then, we both talked non-stop about more random stuffs. It was really cute that moment as both of us were just plain speaking english. As he wasn’t sure if I do speak malay or not so yeah, it was english all the way. Then through spending so much time, I found out he comes from a parentage of chinese dad & malay mum. I find this interesting enough and what surprise me more, is he speaks cantonese & mandarin as well. Despite the fact that I speak pretty well malay, we mix around with our languages a lot. This is where we have stepped into the comfort zone.

What do I mean by comfort zone?  It’s a zone where I could be myself whenever I am with him. People always have the perception.. how do we even get along so well when he is a typical malay & I am a typical chinese? Well, thankfully the both of us are not of the typical kind. We do know a lot of each other’s culture and lingua franca. So yeah, whenever I am with him, I always forget the fact that he is a malay speaking dude, because I take him as himself, a person that I could casually have conversation and feel comfortably with. The same goes to him so the communication part wasn’t a barrier for us at all.

We got together and he never fails to make me the happiest girl alive everyday. I adore the way he can be caring, casual and straight to the point at the same time. As in, he is not those typical mushy guys who goes “I love you”  &  “you are the best” every minute. When he feels thing is not right, he would tell me and this is the kind of honesty that every man should have. Not by telling your girlfriend her dress is pretty even if you think its not, like dude seriously -________-

As you can see, I am pretty unreasonable back then and I do admit, I was one. Because whenever he doesn’t pick up my calls or reply my texts in a time duration, I’ll get really mad. Since M is studying in LimKokWing at Cyberjaya & I was in Taylor’s in PJ, we are both rather far apart. So most of the time, the cellphone do the talking that keeps us company. And worse still, his family lives in Shanghai so he goes back really often to visit them. Including the fact that he loves travelling so he spent most of his time abroad. Thus, at this point – it was Skype and e-mails that do the talking most of the time. It was pretty frustrating to be away from each other at that point. We were away from each other during Christmas, New Year Eve with almost 2 months altogether.

This distance apart thingy made us argue alot, like I am not even joking when I say A LOT. For the littlest things from him falling asleep while waiting for me to go online or something he said, I take everything to offend and I’ll be so frustrated because he is no where nearby. All I could do is scream into my pillow to chill myself out.

Like whenever I get mad at him, of course he gets mad as well. But no matter how mad he is with me, he still take the initiative to talk things out with me nicely. So yes, here it goes again. I am happily fed with his pampering whenever we argue, and it always works because I couldn’t stand being angry with him for long too. Also I have to admit, arguing is such a tiring activity.

After close to 2 months he is away, finally he is back to Malaysia. But with another new hobby of his that I didn’t much fancy about. He got into a new addiction of riding fixies and he does that every night, from 12am onwards. Look. I am completely fine with him having a new hobby, I mean you can never stop a guy from liking something such as cars, Manchester United and etc. But one thing about this new hobby is its pretty dangerous. Riding fixies late at night on the street is one, and kept falling from the bike is one. I was worried whenever he goes on a riding session but what more can I say?

We constantly argue whenever he mention about going for a riding session. Yes, so the argument never did ended.. yet it continues from him being abroad at first and now, his new hobby. So yeah, it finally came to the day when we goes our own way. No more talking, no more seeing and no more knowing about each other since then. Funny how we could be so clingy in the beginning and then now, we are total strangers. Good thing was, we don’t live near each other nor do we study close to each other.

My point of writing this is not to rant about my previous crappy relationship, but because I am trying to prove that its not because of the race issue that we couldn’t be together. Like I mentioned, it was because of his interests and distance that cause our arguments in the first place. I despise the fact that whenever I tell people, I have broken up with him, Most people would tell me,

” Its okay, you didn’t lose anything. He is still a malay and you both won’t go anywhere anyway. “

What’s with him being a malay? Just because in Malaysia, we have to convert into Muslim if we were to marry one. I don’t think its a big deal if you really could live comfortably with that particular person. Religion, on the other hand is just a guidance to life and I believe that every religion teaches the same thing. It is really, very much up to us to interpret and practice it into our daily’s. I have to admit I was upset when things was over between us, but yeah. It wasn’t hatred that I had for him but instead it was all good old memories to learn from ♥

   Never regret anything, as once it was what you wanted.